In the past, we’ve gotten gems like Sleepy Joe, Crooked Hillary and Meatball Ron. Even Kamala Harris — Laffin’ Kamala or Kamabla — has a few options to choose from. But her running mate, Democratic Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, has yet to be blessed with a signature Donald Trump nickname.
Perhaps Trump is weighing his options. There’s just too many to choose from — and they’re all pure gold.
Tampon Tim: The libs cheer Walz for signing a law to make feminine products free in Minnesota schools. What they don’t tell you is that it included putting feminine products in the boys’ bathroom as well — all the way down to 4th grade. Could you imagine the sick things 10-year-old boys would do with tampons? But it’s ok. Walz thinks some boys get periods too.
Tiananmen Tim: Walz has a “long track record” in China. The media spins him as an expert China hawk who wants to spread human rights. But while most Americans fled after the Tiananmen Square Massacre, Walz went to teach high school there. He went back multiple times for education trips. Five years later, he went back again for his honeymoon. Sure, there’s an innocent explanation — but like Walz says, “One person’s ‘socialism’ is another person’s ‘neighborliness.'” Who funded all of this on a teacher’s salary?
Yellow Belly Tim: This one cuts deep, especially for veterans. He was a National Guardsman for 24 years but has been accused of “stolen valor” after a member of his battalion alleged he retired to avoid deployment to Iraq. In public, Walz has made it seem like he faced fire in combat to justify why Americans shouldn’t have “weapons of war, that I carried in war.” Walz, however, never served in the Middle East and was instead deployed to Italy during the War on Terror.
Tiny Tim: Probably the most classic route. Tiny Tim was a musician from Trump’s heyday; it’s an apt cultural reference. Plus, he was a certified freak. If Tiny Tim’s face pops in your head when you go to the ballot box, there’s no way you’re casting a vote for Harris-Walz.
West Coast Walz or Wannabe Walz: Sure, he might be a Midwesterner. He might act and look like a walking dad joke. But look at his record, and it’s clear he governs like a Gavin Newsom wannabe.
Marxist Mr. Magoo: Come on, they look exactly alike!
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